Thursday, April 5, 2012

Who Said Match Was Only For Dating?

Hello, friends! I have been away for far too long. Blogging gets kinda tough when you actually like the guy you’re dating and there’s nothing to make fun of or complain about. But, good news—hmm, maybe not so good news—Kpsmyln6 is ready to pounce again! Real life love did not work out. Surprised, right? I was, too. I’m still hurting from it, but that’s why the internet is armed with thousands of men who could potentially possibly slightly wanna meet me. And so I pull up the match.com webpage, but this time is different—I haven’t subscribed yet. I’m just looking, you know, doing a little window shopping. There are also some signals that I think I’m not quite ready to meet anyone or at least maybe not in this way. Here’s what happens when I browse through match:

1. Half of the profiles don’t even get fully read or viewed because EVERY SINGLE MALE apparently believes that using the phrase “partner in crime” is the key to getting the girl. Uhhh, no, dummies, it’s actually not. I don’t know who in internet dating started using it, but once boys started looking at other boys’ profiles, that baby just spread. Just as quickly as I will cut you from the lineup for having cats, I will leave you out for using that phrase.

2. There’s this fun new game I’ve created called, “Guess the Heights of Match.com Daters By Only Looking at their Main Profile Picture.” Okay, so I’m working on the title, but now you pretty much know all about the game. I have absolutely no factual information for making my height predictions and generally I’m wrong every single time, but it’s fun and challenges me to get a height correct for once!

3. Inevitably I end up in a self-debate about guys who have no qualifiers for their dates—meaning, they have “No Preference” marked for alllll of the qualifiers where you can have a preference. Examples of this are: education, height, body type, desire to have kids, etc. I always have to wonder…are these guys THAT open minded that they don’t care about certain things in their match or do they not care because they don’t care about taking it seriously? It’s always a little sketchy when “no preference” is selected except for an “athletic and toned” body. Umm, yeah, k, we all know what you’re after!

For now, I'll stay away from the subscribe button, but Lord knows I can't stay away from match!