Tip Of The Cheap Iceberg

The free candy from work, the free baseball tickets from work, and now the free gift card to a restaurant—thank goodness for this company or Jeremy and I would have only made it out to our first date! Dinner was at a pretty nice restaurant, and it’s nice that Jeremy and I are really getting to be at a comfortable point. He “paid” for dinner, but then he spoke these words to me: “Oh, I don’t have cash. Can you pay for the tip?” Yeah, here’s a tip, buddy: BRING CASH and don’t make your date pay for anything! I’m not a total snot; I have paid for a guy before, but it was after a longer period of dating, and oh, I don’t know, he had actually spent some money as well on dates. I’m old fashioned and I believe the guy needs to woo the girl. Telling me I need to bust out my wallet on a date is not a good woo. His streak of freebies had made my antennae go up. I’m all for saving money, and I definitely get excited when I can get a $200 dress down to $50, but this was starting to turn me off. Maybe he was compensating for the amount of money he spends on alcohol and his Mercedes car payment? Anyway, I dug through my purse for my wallet and paid the tip. It just makes me wonder if this will be a lifetime of not being able to do things or go places unless he got something from work.

After dinner, we came back to my house to watch Glee because I was tired of driving out to his house all the time. I had sat in enough traffic, and while I’m not really a fan of my parents having to meet every guy I go out with, thems the breaks when I’m trying to save up for a real house. The meeting was totally fine; my parents are pretty used to it now. Jeremy and dad got along really well because they do similar things for work. My mom liked him because he’s Catholic and was an altar boy (coincidentally at the same church I “belong” to).  I do like Jeremy and he’s definitely that average, normal guy I wanted. I’m just still struggling with how much I really like him. It’s only been a few weeks, and maybe my whole idea of falling in love right away just isn’t supposed to happen. I’ve fallen in love quickly before and things never worked out so maybe it needs to grow over time. I’m open to the idea since I obviously haven’t been right before. 

Alcoholic Not Anonymous

I was a champ again Friday night and went out with him and his friends to a bar called “Where Everybody and Their Mother Goes To On A Friday Night.” I like low key and peaceful evenings, especially on a Friday after I’ve been sharing my “office” with 25-27 charming angels. Anyway, we escaped all of the people inside and grabbed a bunch of tables on the patio. I got my vodka tonic and talked with the nice roommate and some of Jeremy’s friends who were visiting from NJ. Finally, some Jersey blood! I tried making friends with the girls, but they were not the friendliest bunch. The girl I knew from high school was still the same space cadet that she was 8 years ago which probably explains why I was never really friends with her and why I have no reason to want to become friends with her. So, of course, I make friends with the boys. They’re way easier to get along with, no drama, and these were actually some pretty nice and funny guys.

While I was making friendly “getting to know you” conversation, Jeremy was off having a competition with himself about how much more alcohol he could consume that night as compared to last week. I have no tolerance for sloppy drunks. You’ve been drinking for at least 6 years if you’ve only started when you were legally allowed—you should know your own tolerance level by now. And if you don’t, well, I hope one of your boys will hold your hair back for ya because I’m not hangin’ around for that. I talked with him later about his drinking, asking him if he thinks he drinks an appropriate amount and he can handle himself, and basically his response was that he knows he drinks a lot but he likes to have fun. I’ve dated worse than someone who has a possible alcohol problem, and as long as he is willing to talk about it more then there still is hope that this will work out with Jeremy.  If he's closed off to the idea of readjusting his behavior, thennnnn there could be trouble.

No Playing Games--Except Baseball!

I loooove going to baseball games, and Jeremy really hit a homerun with this date. Well, it was a homerun that he didn’t pay for. He got Nats’ tickets from his company (wow, they give out free chocolate AND free baseball tickets?! I’m in the wrong career!) so it seemed like a good opportunity to get a baseball game in since the season is pretty much done. The seats were awesome, and the tickets came with money on them so we had some food, but more importantly, we had drinks. Jeremy watched his intake this time, and he was much more enjoyable. Usually preferring a calm and uneventful weekday evening, I’ve been going over to his house to hang out after work. One of his roommates is really great and super welcoming, but the other one is…oh, how do I put this delicately…he’s an a-hole. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I feel uncomfortable when he’s there. I feel like he’s thinking, ‘Why are you in my house?’ I tried being friendly and bubbly, but I simply don’t care anymore and really only make effort with the nice roommate. 

For once I feel like Jeremy isn't one to dip out on me and that he actually sees this going into a relationship. At least I think that's what's going on? I mean, let's get serious, I HAVE been out with almost 20 guys from match, and some of them I THOUGHT wanted something more substantial than just a few dates, but clearly I've been wrong. My track record isn't so good with reading guys. Or maybe they're just really good liars. Jerks. Anyway, thus is life and for now, mine will continue on with Jeremy.

On a random note, Jeremy and I actually have a mutual friend. One of his good friends from college is a girl I went to high school with. I was more acquaintances with her, but friendly enough that I’m sure it won’t be awkward at all when I go out with alllllll of them tomorrow. Again. On a Friday night. 

Dancing Queen

Jeremy and I are still dating even after the Friday night fiasco. What was the fiasco you ask? Basically, he apparently likes to drink. A lot. And even worse, he really can’t handle himself when he drinks. He’s been out of college for five years now. I know I’m a senior citizen when it comes to going out and everything, but at least I don’t look like a fool when I drink. If you like drinking, fine. But don’t embarrass me in the process. Speaking of embarrassing, not only is he a messy drunk, he’s a terrible dancer. Even worse, he THINKS he’s a good dancer. Scouts honor, I don't make this up. I had collected some energy and was really enjoying myself, I was getting to know his friends (typical college group of a buncha guys and a buncha girls), and I felt relaxed sitting on the bar’s patio, sipping my vodka tonic.

Then Jeremy decides he wants to dance. Please, no, I beg him. I do like to dance, but I have to be in the mood, and umm, I could just get the feeling that he wouldn’t be a good dancer, and I’m sorry, but I need someone to keep up when we’re out there. After five minutes of him whining like a child who wants a cookie when his mother is telling him to eat a banana, I relented. I couldn’t deal with his dramatics any longer. The dance floor is a decent size, but it shrinks when you try to pack 100 people on it. Jeremy didn’t seem to care. He danced so big and so wide, bumping into all sorts of people, and this child had not a care in the world. Jeremy may be tall, but he’s not exactly the buffest guy around. I started to notice some um, physically fit gentlemen who wanted to “speak” with him. I mouthed “I’m sorry” to them and watched their eyes sadden when they realized what I was stuck with. Their girlfriends looked even sadder for me. Finally, I grabbed Jeremy’s collar and pulled him in close to me. “Look, we’re on a tight dance floor, and you’re dancing real big right now, so you need to bring it in or we’re leaving.”  Like a child who had been scolded by his mother for eating the cookie instead of the banana, he bent his head and whispered an apology. We danced a little more and then headed out. I’m not totally put off just yet, but this is something that will definitely need monitoring. I don’t plan on being his bodyguard again so he needs to pull it together or this will become a major issue.

Sweet Date

Before meeting Jeremy for dinner, I had gotten an email from him asking what my favorite candy is. I listed a few of my faves because really, how can I have only one favorite candy? That’s like trying to choose your favorite child. Anyway, I wasn’t sure what candy had to do with going out to dinner, but when we met up outside the restaurant, I noticed he had a bag with him. And it had my candy in it! King Size bars! I thought, how sweet that he would stop and pick up candy for me. Random, but sweet. Turns out, that at his work, there is some sort of candy cart that comes trolling through and employees can then take whatever candy they want for free. Candy is candy and I’ll eat it regardless, but I guess the sweetness/thoughtfulness kind of went out the window.

Candy issues aside, dinner and conversation were both good with Jeremy again. The weather was nice, so even though we couldn’t get a table on the patio, after dinner we walked around the town center and found a spot to sit. We talked and people-watched, and I think I might actually like this guy. I’m supposed to be going out with him and his friends Friday night which I’m slightly peeved about because almost any teacher knows the pain of going out on a Friday night. But, it’ll be a chance to meet his friends so we’ll go ahead with it.

The Importance of Chemistry (No, Not the Periodic Table, Chemistry)

Mark is tall, like 6’6” tall. Mark is also a cop. He’s actually part of the SWAT team in D.C. and does some of his work with presidential matters. Pretty cool! He’s originally from New Jersey so that was another plus for him. Tonight we met for a drink and had a nice time. Conversation was never awkward, and I didn’t find myself praying for the evening to be over. There was nothing flirtatious which was kinda sad, but overall I had fun with him. Like Ben, I couldn’t tell if Mark was really interested or not. In the back of my mind, I was also thinking how great of a chemistry there was between me and Jeremy, and I may need to focus my efforts on him.

Tomorrow Jeremy and I are going out to dinner. Already tonight, I had messages from Ben AND from Mark saying how great of a time they had with me, and they both asked me out again. As much fun as juggling three guys sounds, I don’t think I can handle it right now. Ben’s brood of five doesn’t bother me, but his seriousness does. I don’t think we’re a good personality match. I do like Mark, but not as much as Jeremy. There just seemed to be more of a comfort level with Jeremy right away. So…this is it. Started with three bikes in the motor cage and now we’re down to one. Hopefully it’s the right one!

Too Normal?

Jeremy fit my criteria pretty well—you know, those qualifiers I so steadfastly held on to before I realized there really might not be a prince charming, or castle, or happily ever after. He was tall, brown hair, successful job, family in the area, and he really just seemed like a normal guy. That’s exactly what I wanted. I wasn’t looking for someone who had everything checked off on their list of things to do/see/places to go because that just makes me feel inadequate. Jeremy emailed me, and I was surprised that I had never seen him before. It didn’t take long for us to exchange numbers, and it didn’t take long for him to text me. The dreaded text. I don’t care if he is 27 years old and that’s the norm for people nowadays to use technology like that; it’s still no way to woo a lady. We “talked” for a couple days until I couldn’t take it anymore. I called him. I actually called him as I was on my way home from my date with Ben. Conversation was fine, and we realized that we would both be out in Arlington Saturday night. He thought it would be great to meet up while we were out. Umm yeah. I’m not really a fan of “meet ups” in crowded bars, after we’ve both been drinking, and where we will have to scream to hear each other. If I were ok with that, I’d already have met someone while I’ve been out at the bar. He was determined to meet up while we were out despite my “I really don’t think it’s a good idea, I’d rather wait and meet tomorrow” text message pleas. Finally, I told him I had left Arlington, which I really had. Apparently, wine and vodka don’t mix.

Yesterday we met at the beer-only Vienna Inn. He had some beers while I had a diet coke. Vodka still prevails for me! We hit it off pretty well. It felt natural talking with him, and there was a mutual interest in each other. The decision was that we will go out for dinner Wednesday because I…get ready for this…have another date tomorrow! Playa, playa! Of course Jeremy doesn’t know I have the date, and even if I do like Jeremy, I’ve learned that I can never count on anything panning out how one might think it will. So, Mark will have his shot tomorrow night. 

Party of 5 Kids

Ben may be a bit of a stretch, but let’s call it what it is, folks—I’m gettin’ desperate. I am honestly at the point where I will give ALMOST anyone a chance. To go out with Ben, I had to think outside the box a little bit. He’s 35, successful government job, tall, athletic, has similar interests, and he has five kids. What’s that? Yup. Five kids. He’s a father to a basketball team. His kids live with his ex-wife in a Midwest state, so they’re not a constant physical presence in his life. We emailed a few times more than I usually like to wait, but I finally mentioned that we should get together. With the weather cooperating, we did a mini-tour of the western Virginia wineries. He was quieter than I anticipated, but my loud mouth and a bit o’ the smashed grapes helped him open up. He revealed that he was hesitant to talk to/go out with me because of my age. That’s fun, I’ve never heard that before! With his five kids, he wasn’t convinced that a 26-year-old would have the maturity to handle the situation and to just blend with his older, sophisticated, fatherly lifestyle. On the upside, he went on to say that he could tell through my emails that I was different than he was expecting, and that me being a teacher gave him some peace of mind that five kids wouldn’t be shocking to me.

I was having a pretty good time with Ben. We were having really good conversation, and exchanging various stories and thoughts for the future. He was super soft spoken and was very thoughtful with everything he said. He was almost too thoughtful. An example: he doesn’t like professional sports. None of them. And not just he doesn’t follow them. He really doesn’t like them because of how society builds up these athletes and they get all this recognition and money and role model status when…they’re just good at sports. I understand his point and tend to agree, but my G-Men are still great to watch on Sundays and I’ll be darned if I don’t make it to at least one Yankees game a season. I did like Ben, though, so I was slightly disappointed that I didn’t feel more of a connection. Since we were outside all day and it was sunny, sunglasses were a fixture on our faces. I took my sunglasses off many times throughout to try and initiate some eye contact. I feel that eye contact is so important in building a connection with someone. You can kind of tell if it’s there or not. He kept his sunglasses on at all times so that was frustrating. We ended our date with a hug, and I’m not sure that I’ll hear from him again. I couldn’t get a clear read on what he thought and felt about me.

Tomorrow I have a date with a youngin’ who came up out of nowhere. If Ben contacts me, I would definitely be open to going out again to see if a connection is there.

Old. No ‘Er.’ Just, Old.

Derek and I never talked again, but I liked him and what he represented. He was a true gentleman, a hard worker, polite, stable (at least it seemed like it), and many other qualities that I had given up on finding in a guy. Derek was 35 which I thought was a good age, and more and more I was beginning to like the idea of (hopefully) ending up with someone who had a few years on me. So after Derek and I went out but didn’t work out, I jumped back on match and searched with an age range with a minimum of 35 years and put a max at 45 years. The results were…varied, for sure. It’s amazing how different a couple of 40 year olds can look! Some guys were among the best I had ever seen and others looked like they were already able to get the early bird dinner special at IHOP. There were three guys that stood out to me, and I just went out with one of them. The other two are scheduled for this week. I guess I’m a slight pessimist at this point since I was anticipating that I would be available to go out with someone else.

Steve is a divorced, 44-year-old lawyer, with a child. Well, a 22-year-old child. Slightly awkward to think about going out with someone whose son is a mere 4 years younger than me, but he had similar characteristics to Derek that I liked. Unfortunately for Steve (and me), he had many characteristics that were different from Derek that I did not like. At all. Before meeting, we talked on the phone a couple times and the conversation was very easy. He was a talker, but that’s fine because I can be a talker, too. Steve’s profile was fun—it showcased his personality very clearly, and his high energy translated from written word to spoken word. We settled on a Starbucks date. I walked in and quickly scanned the room. Ummm. I must be at the wrong Vienna Starbucks (I mean, really, there are about three within a 4 block strip). All of these guys are old. None of them look like Steve. I panicked for a moment; then Steve appeared in front of me. And I panicked again. Oh no! He looks old! “You look different,” I spit out. Turns out it was his hair that was different, not the fact that he definitely seemed to have aged 10 years between internet world and reality. Regardless, I was there and decided to give it a shot. I said he was a talker, and sadly, he’s not a listener at all. He talks. And talks. Andddd talks. All. About. Himself. Another major turn off: it was quite evident that he only liked me because I am young. Ew. I’m so grossed out just writing about it.

The “date” didn’t end at Starbucks. We hiked across the parking lot to the local Whole Foods. Whole Foods?! We’re going grocery shopping?! He needed to pick up a few things, so, ya know, he thought it would win over his date to bring her to the food store. This is even grosser to say, but I felt like I was out with my dad. Steve just seemed so…old. I knew after that I for sure could never go out with him again. The way we left it, I was in control. Ha ha, I love being in control! Steve and I never talked again which is quite all right because I’ve got a date with Ben later this week.