Plus One Problem

I love to laugh, especially at live comedy shows. Brandon learned this early and made a tactical move to gain himself some points—he got us tickets to a stand-up comedy show. We had a lot of fun, and I was thinking that maybe I was making some progress with my thinking…physically I may not be into him, but he was someone with a whole buncha other great qualities. I’ve always been a believer in the idea that when you really like/love someone, you just know it. There’s not even necessarily reasons 1, 2, and 3 as to why you love them, you just do and you can’t even explain it. I also believe this feeling will come out within the first 6-8 weeks of knowing someone. It’s been almost a month with Brandon and there’s nada so without that feeling, I’m not trying to rush into any commitment right away. We’re both not dating others, but it’s easier to leave if you’re dating/seeing how things might go instead of being super stuck to each other.

Well, on the way home from the comedy show, Brandon revealed his thoughts on “us” in an indirect way. He told me that one of his best friends is getting married next week. And he’s allowed to bring a plus one. And he wants that plus one to be me. Ummm. Hmmm. My hand made its way to the door handle of the car. It was late at night. There weren’t many cars on the road. Brandon wasn’t driving very fast. I could make it out, tuck and roll, and get out of this situation. I’m no stunt woman and I’m scared of anything remotely dangerous so thank goodness Brandon continued speaking and said, “Even though you would be the one I would ask to come, I’m not going to because I have to leave for it on Friday and I know you won’t take off work. Plus, I know it’s also still early with us.” Phewwww. The other side of this situation is that if it had been a guy I was really falling for who was asking me to a wedding, I would’ve happily said yes. But it’s not a guy that I’m falling for. And that, my friends, is a problem.

Never Been Kissed (In 4 Dates)

True story. It’s been four dates and a 26-year-old guy has made no attempt to kiss me. I’m not sure what to make of this, but it makes me feel slightly uneasy. I think Brandon’s never kissed me because he’s never been kissed—ever. He’s confident in everything else: calling, making plans, conversing, but then it comes to those points when any other breathing male, or female actually, would jump at their chance for a kiss he swoops in for a hug. I’m not dying to kiss him because the physical attraction still isn’t there for me, and maybe that’s a bad sign? But I’m trying to step outside of my usual type because my usual type usually gets me nowhere—typically. Like can grow over time and it can come from intellectual and emotional attraction which is what I’m banking on right now. I know Brandon likes me and I know he will do whatever it takes to keep me happy, and not necessarily in the princessy way, but he genuinely wants this to work out and he knows all the non-physical moves to make. He calls. Everyday. He’s interested in me, my stories, all of it. He makes plans and he keeps them. He talks about what he wants for his future in terms of his career, showing that he’s even thinking of his future. We’ve been having a lot of fun getting to know each other, going out, relaxing at home, and just letting things move…slowly. So as wonderful as Brandon is in so many other aspects, the physical one is blah. Kissing can tell a lot about the connection between two people and right now our connection has a gigantic gap in it, but I will take the chance to let this one play out.

Shallow and High Waters

I’m shallow. Kind of. My master plan of going out with someone who is atypical for me may actually work, if I can just get this guy new pants. This weekend I met up with Brandon for a drink. I liked that he wasted no time getting in touch with me. He noticed me noticing him (yes, this can happen online) because I checked out his profile and then right after that he emailed me. We only emailed twice and he had already asked to meet. Yes! Finally, a guy who isn’t dilly dallying with the pen pal thing. He came across as straight-laced in his profile, maybe a tad boring, but that’s what I wanted—I wanted to be won over on the actual date. Brandon got to the bar first and when I walked in I noticed something. His pants were, um, way too short. I’m sorry, but if you’re standing, I shouldn’t see socks. He was kind of cute, and I cursed myself for thinking about pants when I’m trying to find the love of my life. I took a deep breath, opened my mouth to show off the thousands of dollars my dad spent giving me nice teeth, and greeted Brandon with a hug. It’s funny because he seemed almost unsure of me in the beginning, too. He was already drinking a beer so I ordered my own drink on my own dime. That’s okay, it’s a new Nicole, I can pay for my own drink. Plus, it didn’t really matter, I knew the bartender so I got my drink for free anyway.

Back to Brandon. We got to talking right away, and because of some facebook stalking, we had both discovered that we had a mutual friend. The more we talked, the more I liked Brandon. He seemed more mature than most guys I had been out with and was very genuine. He seemed like he knew what he wanted, and the way he talked about his career was a new turn-on for me. He was so ambitious and motivated to be successful. His short pants that had me worried in the beginning were now a distant thought. Besides, if we continued dating, I’m blunt enough that I could just be like, “Hey, your pants are short, let me buy you some new ones.” Pants can be changed easily, but people can’t be so I’d rather have a good person with bad clothes. We left with just a hug and while I’m not sure I’m physically attracted to him, I was excited to agree with him that we should go out again. We’ll be getting together again this week, and the good news is the weather is warming up—shorts are welcome!