Fizzling Fireworks?

Summer’s been crazy, and I’ve been out of town, but have slowly managed to stay in touch with Nick.  A few days before July 4, we had talked about going to see fireworks together because fireworks are one of my most favorite things, and it had been awhile since we’d been able to hang out.  He realized, though, that after being out at a July 4 celebration with drinking, it wouldn’t be smart to head out and drive somewhere.  He assured me that he’d make it up to me.  It was a letdown, but 1) sadly I’m used to that by now and 2) I didn’t want anything to happen to him after drinking so I understood.  A few days later, though, I made him go out to a Kevin James movie (he just happens to be one of my favorite people).  I loved the movie and I loved FINALLY spending time with Nick.  Why do I do this to myself?  I’ve seen He’s Just Not That Into You plenty of times, and I do get the concept of it all, but I still put myself through all this grief.  I feel fine saying that Nick likes me, but what I’m struggling with is that he just doesn’t like me enough.  I’m wondering if, since there no other prospects, I should continue and see if that “enough” ever comes.

Or maybe I should abandon all hope, lay it out on the line, and then realize that “enough” will never happen—which is exactly what I did.  Nick and I went out again, and it’s tough to compartmentalize how he is when we’re out and then his actions/inactions that happen in between those dates.  He’s attentive and affectionate when we’re out, but then the effort is lacking when we’re not out.  I can’t keep my mouth shut, and I’ve always been one to just say how I feel because I know I’d regret it more if I never spoke up, so I told him how I felt about him and asked for some clarification of his feelings for me.  Basically, his response was, he likes me but he’s not ready to get into a relationship.  Hey, that’s just great, because that’s what I thought we were both here for.  This is proving to be a tough one to get over.  I’ll be in Italy for a couple weeks so while I’m running around that amazing country, Nick will just be a firework that died out a little too early…