After my dates with Will and Mack, I have learned that extra height does not mean extra personality. It actually seems to have had an inverse effect. I got to Champps and knew that Will hadn’t arrived yet, so I sat on the entry level of the building on a bench, next to the spiral stairs that led to the actual restaurant. Through the glass doors and windows, I watched as cars drove through the parking lot, and with each car I wondered if that was him. A couple minutes later, I looked up from my phone to see him walking into the view through the windows. Wow. He’s tall. And not as cute. Hm, that was a bummer. His hair was a little longer and scruffier than I like, and he was dressed in a t-shirt and a zip sweatshirt, but maybe his personality will really shine through tonight. We hugged, me basically throwing my arms around his waist and leaning into his stomach like a little girl would hug her daddy after he’s been away for a week on business. We walked up the stairs to the restaurant and decided to sit at the bar. I could feel the eyes of the other patrons watching us as we walked. Well, not so much watching me but watching the tower of Will. I wanted to shout out to all of them, “I know, isn’t he huge?!” We both ordered a drink, and he ordered dinner. We started talking and had some pretty unmemorable conversation. It was lacking in—everything. He seemed disinterested after the first few minutes even thought I can’t understand why since I’m UH-Mazing. We kept the conversation moving throughout the night, but it was just bleh. He had no personality, and he acted like he didn’t care he was on a “date.” I don’t understand why these guys do this. You will not hurt my feelings if you tell me ahead of time that you’re not interested in a date. You won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me after that you’re not interested in the date. But ya will piss me off. Without any type of personal connection happening, it was pretty clear that I had dragged myself out on a school night for nothing, and my hopes of marrying a Jolly Green weren’t going to happen. Or were they? I still had my date with Mack to go on!
The next night, like a broken record, I drove to the same restaurant and sat on the same bench while I waited for a different guy (but still a Jolly Green!) Mack called me after I had been sitting there for a few minutes to let me know that he was very close. Just like before when I had talked to him, he sounded very soothing and calm. As I was talking to him, he informed me that he was in the black Cadillac CTS driving by the building. He sounded way friendlier than Will and more enthusiastic about our outing. A couple minutes after our phone chat, Mack walked through the doors. Wow. He’s tall. I knew it was coming, but still—seeing someone whose lower body is the length of your entire body is surprising every time. Another awkward hug ensued, and as I scampered up the stairs, Mack took about two strides and had made it all the way to the top. We sat down and I could smell vanilla—like that vanilla scent from Bath & Body Works. Here’s the funny thing about vanilla scent: I hate it. I hate it badly, and I quickly realized that Mack had doused himself in it. Vanilla should be reserved only for ice cream or frosting, and maybe even to describe the color of a white crayon, but no man should pick up a bottle of vanilla and try to pass it off as their cologne. The conversation throughout dinner was fairly pleasant. I learned about how his family came to America in search of a better life, and he came off as very mature. He talked so softly and slowly, but not in a grandpa boring way, just in a thoughtful way that showed his tranquil personality. That was kind of opposite of my loud Italian-Arab voice and hands that constantly moving in sync with my mouth. He asked me a lot of questions to learn more about me, but it sorta felt superficial. It’s hard to explain. I was engaged in conversation and Mack was a nice guy, but I had mentally checked out early on. Like Will, the connection was missing and so was a personality. I needed more life in someone! Surprisingly, before we left, Mack asked if I would join him for an upcoming basketball game. It’s usually pretty awkward to reject someone in person, so I said that it sounded fun. Yeah, I know, I totally lied. Well not totally—I do really like going to sporting events so it wouldn’t be all that bad. We were supposed to go yesterday, but I got a message from him earlier in the day that he was really sick and wouldn’t be able to go. Relieved, I told him not to worry. He said he’d check out another game we could go to and he’d let me know. Fingers crossed that he doesn’t make it happen! I had already wasted two days with the Redwoods, I needed to work on finding someone who would actually be a good match.
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