A Man's Man--Literally?

I had seen Derek’s profile before, like months before.  It was possible a wink had been sent between us, but I couldn’t remember much more than that.  This time I had an email waiting from him.  I clicked on his picture and read up on him.  He seems great; why did I never go for him before? From his pictures and profiles, it seemed that he was successful, cared about his appearance, and didn’t want to play games.  We emailed a couple times and settled on a day to get together for lunch. Derek was really nice, and I don’t mean in that sad way that he had nothing else going for him.  He was genuinely nice, respectful, well-spoken, and well-mannered.  We talked the whole time, and I loved learning about Derek’s successes in life, but he was also really open about sharing his failures, too. This was a good date.  Derek was a gentleman, I learned a lot from him, and felt an amount of respect and proper attention I hadn’t received from a guy in a long time. Or ever. Derek and I hugged good-bye with talk of getting together again. 

It was bound to happen at some point, right?  I’ve dated almost the entire Match.com crowd, and I should’ve expected that there would be a closet gay mixed in.  I’m pretty sure he undressed me with his eyes and then he dressed me back up in a way better outfit.  The feeling I got was that this man was hiding the truth, and neither of us made any attempt to contact the other.  Of course the good one has to be gay. Lucky man whoever ends up with this one!

Back To The Drawing Bored

The rest of the week after going out with Andrew, we talked every night on the phone or texted while he was at work. I started thinking of the few guys I had been out with that I had doubts about because they gave off a “I’m disinterested and can’t be bothered” vibe, but that we actually ended up hitting it off, and their personalities calmed a little. Andrew fell right into that category, and I was excited to go out with him again to get to know him better. We had plans for Saturday, but I realized Thursday and Friday I was the one who always initiated contact. Yes, it was at that stupid point when you have to keep a tally of how many times you’ve called or texted first. Saturday, I decided I’d let him be the one to start it off, and if I didn’t hear from him, then clearly he wasn’t interested. ______________. That’s representing the silence that came when there should’ve been a phone call.

Instead of waiting around for him, I worked on the tan with a friend, and we concocted a message to send to Andrew in order to elicit a response that may explain what had happened. “Hey, if you wanna do something later today, let me know.” Just a few minutes later he responded.  “I came home to New York this weekend.”  I turned to my friend and laughed because these guys I was finding were all a joke. I wrote back, “Oh, funny, I thought we were hanging out today.” If it’s not a match then that’s not an issue.  I was still perplexed, though, as to why a guy will initiate a second date and then suddenly bail out. I gave it maybe two seconds of thought and then turned up my music player. I'm starting to get a little bored with this whole process. It always ends up the same (in failure) and it's getting tough to keep going when there's this overlying feeling that it's just never ever gonna work out. I'm bored of having to tell my same funny stories, make my same funny jokes, wear my same date outfits, and go to the same bars for dates. BUT I still have weeks left on my match subscription AND I still have time for some summer playtime. So, with that, I may as well keep it open, but try and change things up a little.  

Jersey, Shore I'll Go Out With You!

I love going to the Jersey shore. I’ve gone every summer since I was a little kid. I’ve also only seen the show about 2 complete times. Now, just because I GO to the Jersey shore, doesn’t mean I want to date it. With Nick’s departure into the “shoulda been” world, I set out to be open minded and really just go for it!  Andrew was that guilty pleasure for me, similar to reality television. He was tall, buff, bald headed, a cop, and hailed from Long Island with a heavy accent. He was THAT guy from the Jersey shore. Well, I guess THOSE guys from the Jersey shore. The part that tripped me up, was that through his profile and pictures, I didn’t realize how “reality TV star-ish” he was. Unfortunately, it all came together when I met him in person.

Through his emails I wasn’t completely blown away. He kind of seemed like he didn’t care and was extremely direct. Good thing for him, though, I like direct. I arrived first to our dinner spot, and since he was new to the area, he called needing some quick directions. He was laughing at himself for needing the help, which actually softened him up a little and he seemed more human to me. As we talked on the phone, he drove passed me in his Mercedes convertible (?!?! who drives this car except old rich guys) with the top down as a background music of rap ushered him through the parking lot. Oh. My. God. I thought about running. I wanted to laugh almost at how ridiculous this seemed, but he also intimidated me a little. It felt like if I ran he would totally chase me down. So, I stayed. I waited for him to park and then I watched him as he emerged from the parking deck. Holy cow, someone graffitied his shirt!!! His clothes were so bedazzled, he looked like AC Moore’s bead and glitter aisle had been thrown against a city wall.  I paused to think and realized that I could probably take on a guy who wears glitter, even if he is twice my size.

We went into the restaurant for dinner and drinks. Andrew’s profile said that he was 29 years old. After placing drinks orders, our server asked for our IDs. Andrew stated, “Look at this…33 years old and I’m still getting carded.” ?!?!?!?. Umm, huh? When I reminded him that he’s supposed to be only 29 years old, he said, “Yeah, I am.” I responded with, “Who are you kidding? You just said you’re 33. Give me your ID and let’s do some math.” He quickly ‘fessed up, and explained that he thinks girls want a younger guy. I mentally rolled my eyes, and thanked our server for bringing us our drinks ever so speedily. Conversation was slow to start (of course it was, he started off with a lie!), but it actually got better as the night went along. He may be an idiot with some things, but the night really took a turn for the better. People need second chances quite often so I extended one to Andrew. We ended the evening with tentative plans to hang out over the weekend. I was a little worried about my decision to go out with Andrew at first, but now I’m glad that I gave it a chance. Maybe I’ll be surprised with this one.