Guided to Frustration

After I tested out my new site for online dating, I quickly learned that I was not a fan of it at all. The site has two different methods of communication. I believe they do this in an effort to help those who are socially awkward. How sweet. You choose which method you prefer: Guided or Open. One communication is normal—if you are sent a person you seem to like, then you can email them and sit and cross your fingers that they will email you back. Or, if you see a person you seem to like, you can send them 5 multiple choice questions to answer. Then they respond, and you send your questions. And then they respond, and they ask you something else stupid. And then you ask them something else stupid, and…oh, you get it. Here’s my favorite part of guided communication, though…The Essay. I promise you this is real. After you and your socially awkward counterpart have made it through 3 rounds of questioning (what is this, a police interrogation?!), you reach the final stage: Sending 3 “final” questions that are to be responded to in short answer style. Even better, is that there is a time limit. Talk about nerve racking. I quickly learned to type up my responses in a Word document so I could revisit it and make whatever changes, and then I copied and pasted it in the site box seconds before clicking send. And there it goes. Off into online space where it will never been responded to.

Throughout my 3 month subscription, I emailed with 3 people who were biologically supposed to be men, although their actions don’t support that. I put in so much effort to respond to their questions because they were too annoying to have Open communication, and since it wasn’t “my turn” I couldn’t freely email them. One guy and I were answering-questions-communicating, and it finally reached the email point. I had left for a 3 day trip. On the third day, he closed communication with me citing I “had taken too long to respond.” Ohhhhh k, buddy. I think I’ll take advantage of the feature where I can click a button that will send a response to him that said something like “Oh, that’s too bad, you should reconsider because I think we have potential.” Please, child, we didn’t really have potential, but I wanted him to open it back up so I could tell him how stupid he was for canceling me when I was traveling without internet access. Which is precisely what I proceeded to do. I had countless guys “close” communication with me—in midcommunication. Talk about rude.

I did finally coax a guy into giving me his digits, and when I called, I never heard back. I was always proud of my beautifully crafted “Final Round” responses, and it seemed ridiculous to me that I couldn’t just email normally, but instead I had to wait for an answer since it was the other person’s turn to communicate. We’re not 5 years old. We already know how to converse.

In the end, it was this hand holding that made me realize match was a much better fit for me. I could communicate openly. I wasn’t subjected to intense scrutiny over whether or not I will be a social butterfly in every single situation or if I will wait a few minutes to be introduced to people (that's just 1 of the multiple choice questions you can send to your potential soul mate). I came to peace with my wasted subscription when I knew that I would never like anyone who didn’t feel comfortable enough to have a simple conversation and making a decision from that. Like and love should be that—simple.