After so many dates and so many guys, it’s hard to not become a B-word about some things. I’m still optimistic that someone’s out there for me, whether online or off, but my positive outlook doesn’t stop me from rolling my eyes, saying out loud to my computer, “Is this guy serious?” and then scrolling down further to see more of the carnage that is The Ridiculous Profile. There have been many TRPs that I’ve come across. Some guys write one sentence about themselves. Other guys, it’s hard to explain, but their profile just annoys me. They seem to be something they’re not—it’s like an inauthentic profile. I just came across this gem and had to share it because well, it’s hysterical. It’s also kind of sad and makes me hate my life a little because what I haven’t copied from his profile is his education and salary. I’ll tell you right here. He has a high school diploma (and that’s as high as it goes) and he makes at least $100,000. I, after 5 years of college, have a bachelors, masters, and an endorsement to teach algebra, and I make a whopping $50,000. Hmm, maybe I should’ve passed on extending my education and learned 2 type lke this awsum guy frm NY. And FL. And now MD. Here’s his TRP…
NY 2 FL 2 MD so help meee... find my wifey.. (this was his headline, a real lady magnet, I know)
I am best described as Black N White, NO shades of Gray, u can expect me 2 be the same person all the time..... (ugh, really? I was hoping you’d be slightly different than this TMI guy you’ve presented here.)
I moved to Maryland from Florida with my x and it didnt work out so we seperated, i really dread going out 2 bars n clubs, sometimes you get lucky and meet good people but thats not often. i much rather do something social with a grl im seeing. i can be spontaneous and still have the ability to think a plan through. (are you sure you can plan? You can’t seem to find the Shift button to capitalize the beginnings of your sentences. I’m slightly worried about your other abilities.)
i really enjoy showing people where im from and what im about. everything from my culture and my city i was born and raised in... still havent embraced Maryland as my home but it will grow on me...NY is so much more than a city or a state, its a state of mind...im a cancer so i can be sensative at times (uh oh, sensitive…I hope he doesn’t read this ever because he may have some issues then) but ill always listen... im super funny, sarcastic, stubborn with a twist (can be some what laid back, everyone should have their way once in awhile right? well maybe more than once ; ) )
Online dating is new to me but its worth a shot...if u find someone worth it
For Fun:
work...haaa...i go to the gym 6 days a week, dread cardio, but ooh well. deffinately go 2 as many games as possible, need 2 go when NY is in town. i like to drive up 2 ny as often as i can.
Favorite Hot Spots:
not sure yet,,,,, help pls. haa (How about a writing center? Or a school? Somewhere that you can learn to type correctly.)
Favorite Things:
all music but country,,, first 48,,,italian (i can cook it 2) well cause i am (omg, commas are not to be used as periods. Learn the difference, fool!)
Last Read:
I read the news paper every day, from movies to books I hate fiction....thats y i read the news paper and watch stuff like 1st 48 and in session... (wow, looks like he finally realized he was hitting a wrong key. I guess it was too much work to go back and edit his mistakes in the previous sections.)
Occupation: Sales / Marketing
Im a internet manager at a car dlr ship, and it demands alot of my time, i have been in the industry for 13 yrs and i am sucessful enough and that opens doors for me 2 get away and leave early. id rather work then go 2 a bar tho. thats y im here... (mmm bars may not be so bad. You might have more luck with spoken word rather than written word.)
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
100% Italian and can cook it. who wouldnt wanna have a guy cook 4 them? have a small but close family which is almost opposite in the Italian world... BIG famlies with alot of chaos. Still have a 3 bedroom hse with 2 friends in Florida that i visit (hse…house, right? This reminds me of some of my spelling-challenged students who write only the sounds or letters they hear. I guess this guy’s one up on them because he put the “e” on the end. Awesome.)
Cracking codes is fun and all, but not when I’m reading a dating profile. It’s profiles like this that tempt me to email them and tell them that they are an idiot if they think a girl will respond positively when they have something written as they do. My only fear is that they will tell me that they have actually gone out on dates with girls they’ve met from match. I guess I may be looking for someone who believes in usage of all letters on the keyboard, but there are other girls who enjoy deciphering emails. TRPs annoyingly take up good online dating space, but there’s no filter on match for these so that’s why it’s important not to just look at the pictures but to recognize a TRP and stay away!
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