Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dyeing to Make One Work



Jeff has been way better about not telling me what girls are saying to him. I now discovered another…red flag, maybe? I’m not sure if it’s a red flag; it may be more of a pink one. One of Jeff’s “hobbies” is to research how to pick up women. Yeah. He was doing this through the online forum, and he would tell me how it worked well and what the womens’ responses were. He was now wanting to shift it from online to real life. I understand that people pop into your inbox with online dating, but I was a little uncomfortable that he would be actively seeking out other girls. He assured me that he didn’t want to actually talk to them, he just liked the challenge of picking up a girl at a bar. Great. I discovered his stash of books and videos that detail what to say and what to do. I read through some of the materials and realized that he had pulled one of the moves on me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him applying these games to me—I thought I meant more than a bar pick-up. Pink flag? Red flag? It’s starting to look a little tie-dye.
I’m trying to find the humor in Jeff’s love of…well, his love of himself basically. Picking up women is all an ego boost to him and I told him that. He denied it at first but then realized that since he wasn’t actually interested in the women then it was all about him. Regardless of this, I still really like him and it feels effortless when we’re together. I’m also not completely sold on him so with New Years Eve coming up, I’m choosing to go out with one of my guy friends instead of with Jeff. Guy friend will always be in life; the pick-up artist may not be. Jeff didn’t say he was upset about this, all he said was “okay.” There’s a lot to Jeff that makes me wonder how I let it get this far. I’m surprised he made it through my match.com filter, but he did, and I’m not ready to walk away. I like what we have, and I want to see what will happen.

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