Twist and Shout

Time got away from me—I had a trip out west that crept up on me, and I didn’t get to update about Greg before I left. So, I did meet his good friend, Jim, and Jim’s girlfriend. We met up for happy hour drinks and then dinner. Everything was fine, and I really liked the girlfriend—we got along well and were able to converse on our own while the boys had their convos. After dinner we walked around the town center and stumbled upon some delicious cupcakes. Well, I thought they were delicious until I touched one and felt what I thought was UNbaked sweetness. You know something is wrong with the dessert when I won’t eat it. Call me crazy, but I would like my cupcake to hold its form instead of being a spread. We had gotten one cupcake to share because I was quite full from dinner, and Greg kindly ate the whole cupcake. I like a guy who can eat!

I thought the night was fine—Greg and I had a good time together as well as with his friends. All was well until Greg tells me, “Yeah, Jim says he can tell that we’re new together and it’s still kinda awkward. Because we don’t hold hands and stuff.” I’m sorry, are we 5? Jim, I think it’s kinda awkward that you’ve known your girlfriend for only a month and you’re already living with her. The only people I ever hold the hands of are the super cute kids in my class who grab on from time to time…or my drunk friends when we are out and we don’t want to get separated.

Instead of focusing on us not being “couply” in our (lack of) romantic actions, Jim should pay more attention to how his friend Greg has the knack to twist words and cry about everything I say, or actually DON’T say, for that matter. Perfect example: I had just gotten back from my trip and was very happy to be reunited with my doggy. I was hugging her and squeezing her and everything. I can’t help it. She’s like a baby and I’ve known her for some years now and I missed her. Realizing I had left out Greg from my hugfest, I told him, “Don’t worry, I’ll love on YOU like this later!” Cute, right? Flirty, right? Apparently not. Greg heard, “One day, if you’re lucky, I will love you like this.” I laughed. In his face. And said, “You are crazy, I NEVER said that and there were people there to witness what I really said.” Poor child doesn’t realize I’m actually a lawyer and not a teacher and he will never win. Hopefully he will relax a little after I’ve really kind of lashed back for his complete making-up-of-situations.