Well, now I’m glad I
brought Greg pizza and apple pie, and I hope I made him fat! These are not the
words of a sweet girl, dating the guy of her dreams. These are the words of a
frustrated girl who sat through a tirade of assaults and who now wishes weight
gain upon her assaulterer as revenge. This is what went down: I took a couple
nights to visit with friends, and then on the day that I was supposed to see
Greg, I got sick. Once I started teaching after college, my immune system has
grown to hate me so this isn’t unusual, especially after coming off of a trip. After
apologizing and telling him I needed to get better, the beast was unleashed.
His beast, not mine. I remained a beauty. Oh, and true to the story of my life,
this whole debacle begins through text messages (*&#$^@*)
Greg’s claims are
that I’m spending all my time with my friends, I’m never with him, I’m not affectionate,
(geeze, is this topic REALLY coming up again? Please refer to this post for
a refresher of my past demons) we have to do everything how I want, I’m
selfish, I say mean things to him, but really, in general terms, he flipped
out. When I suggested that we talk this through on the phone or in person--I
offered to drive out to him--instead of texting (@(*#&@) like 15 year olds
(okay, I know I know, that EVERYONE texts now, but I still firmly believe a
phone call is in order when there is a legit argument occurring between two
adults) I was met with yet more backlash. My suggestion cultivated a response
of, “We always have to do things on your terms!” My terms? Yeah, because my
terms are that of a sane, responsible, non-dramatic adult and because my terms
are awesome. They’re also unselfish and un-everything Greg said about them and
me. Insert allusion to tears—on his end, not mine—and more insults—again, from
his end, not mine. Honestly, I felt a little bit bad about myself after he said
these things, but that feeling quickly dissipated when I realized that he’s crazy
and makes no sense.
After a couple hours
of texting, (!@^*&^@#) he extended the invite for me to go over to talk in
person. Yes, he behaved like a jerk, and yes, he should be the one kissing my
ass to make up for it, but we all have our moments, and I much prefer to know
that I put in every effort to make something work until I know it’s totally
done. Not many words were spoken when I went over…I didn’t want to rehash
everything that had just been said, but I tried to make my points again, and
mostly focused on the fact that he is twisting what I say and that he is a bit
needier than what I feel like I can handle (I did use nicer words than this, I’m
not a total jerk).
He seemed to
understand that I’m not out to get him, and he started to make a good turn
around until he said: “I don’t think what I said to you is any worse than the
things you have said to me.” Ohhhh sweet
child, I’ll see you in court.
From past experience, I can say that the behavior this guy is exhibiting--as you've described it in this and previous posts--is the behavior of a potential abuser. He has no empathy for your situation and believes you exist to meet his needs. When you work to balance your needs with his, he responds as though you have failed to care about his needs at all--because his standard is that you should meet his needs 100%. If you don't meet his needs 100%, according to his own internal (and possibly inexplicable) understanding, that means you deserve an assault--which so far has only been verbal.
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be responding well, which is to your credit.
Thank you for the affirmation--it helps me feel like I'm doing the right thing and that there really is something off about his behaviors.
ReplyDelete