Back In The Game

My online dating career had been put on hold while my first date with Richard (the friend of the boyfriend of my friend—this feels like 6 degrees of separation!) evolved into a semi-relationship for 4 months. The ending with Richard was a tough one, and I stayed away from any thoughts of guys or dating for months—until now. Nothing brings a good pick me up like getting tons of three word emails and winks from guys who are not at all who I want. I typed in a couple qualifiers and started browsing, but I wasn’t convinced to actually subscribe again.

And then I saw him. THAT’S the kind of guy I want. Dark hair, tall, bigger, All-American country-yet-living-in-suburbia kinda guy. Then I scrolled down through his profile and liked what I read. He doesn’t brag about the mountains he’s climbed or the hundreds of countries he’s visited—he’s normal. A normal guy with a good sense of humor. Before I knew it, I found myself subscribing to match. Again. Within a day, I had a phone call from Greg (MAJOR bonus points for the guy!) and our get together was planned!

We chose a sports bar type of location for the relaxed and fun atmosphere. This also led us to discover that my affinity for Boston fans had yet again proven itself. We had a great time—I think I might actually be getting better at this. Could it be true? Almost 4 years of online dating, and I can now pick out my match from thousands of profiles? There was a lot of promise with Greg, and before he had walked me back to my car, our second date was set.

Who Said Match Was Only For Dating?

Hello, friends! I have been away for far too long. Blogging gets kinda tough when you actually like the guy you’re dating and there’s nothing to make fun of or complain about. But, good news—hmm, maybe not so good news—Kpsmyln6 is ready to pounce again! Real life love did not work out. Surprised, right? I was, too. I’m still hurting from it, but that’s why the internet is armed with thousands of men who could potentially possibly slightly wanna meet me. And so I pull up the match.com webpage, but this time is different—I haven’t subscribed yet. I’m just looking, you know, doing a little window shopping. There are also some signals that I think I’m not quite ready to meet anyone or at least maybe not in this way. Here’s what happens when I browse through match:

1. Half of the profiles don’t even get fully read or viewed because EVERY SINGLE MALE apparently believes that using the phrase “partner in crime” is the key to getting the girl. Uhhh, no, dummies, it’s actually not. I don’t know who in internet dating started using it, but once boys started looking at other boys’ profiles, that baby just spread. Just as quickly as I will cut you from the lineup for having cats, I will leave you out for using that phrase.

2. There’s this fun new game I’ve created called, “Guess the Heights of Match.com Daters By Only Looking at their Main Profile Picture.” Okay, so I’m working on the title, but now you pretty much know all about the game. I have absolutely no factual information for making my height predictions and generally I’m wrong every single time, but it’s fun and challenges me to get a height correct for once!

3. Inevitably I end up in a self-debate about guys who have no qualifiers for their dates—meaning, they have “No Preference” marked for alllll of the qualifiers where you can have a preference. Examples of this are: education, height, body type, desire to have kids, etc. I always have to wonder…are these guys THAT open minded that they don’t care about certain things in their match or do they not care because they don’t care about taking it seriously? It’s always a little sketchy when “no preference” is selected except for an “athletic and toned” body. Umm, yeah, k, we all know what you’re after!

For now, I'll stay away from the subscribe button, but Lord knows I can't stay away from match!

Take That, Jeff Foxworthy & Your Lists!

You know you’ve been online dating for too long when…

1) You see/meet people in real life who you “know” from the online dating world

1a) When you see/meet these people in real life, you don’t know their real name, but you DO know their match name.

                    

2) You have learned which match guys are friends with each other because you recognize them in each other’s profile pictures.

            2a) You also see people you actually know in someone’s match pictures. Come on people! Protect yourselves! Crop your pictures and don’t include your name on your profile! (This one follows closely with 5, 5a, and 5b)

3) You think about things in real life and immediately associate it with a profile you’ve seen. For example: Recently, I was looking into things to do on my next road trip vacation. I came across something about white water rafting and thought, “Oh, (insert match name here) would love to come here and do this!”

4) You start to sift through profiles (of guys and girls) to see who you know who’s online dating.

            4a) You find that the almost-promising, slightly older guy is actually your high school guidance counselor.

5) You make the connection between people you see dating online and a trail of mutual facebook friends.

            5a) You then begin to believe you’d make a pretty darn good investigator with all this scoop you can find out from a couple profiles and pictures! Oh, yes, I’m lookin’ at you, Tom, who teaches at a local high school, is from upstate New York, loves football, but coaches track.

            5b) After that, you start to think you have gone crazy and should perhaps close your computer and put to rest the madness of online dating.

6) You search profiles not for a soul mate, but for hobby ideas, activities, and places to visit. These guys have got some good interests!

            6a) I may not have found love, but I’ve read new books, listened to new musicians, been to new bars, and discovered new places to travel.