Dan and I went back and forth with emails a few times, and I was anxious to meet him in person. It gets complicated and tiring to juggle different guys, emails, phone calls—I like being able to either cross them off my list or keep them there and cross the other guys off the list. Right away I recognized Dan because of a scarf he had on from one of his photos. I’m not a scarf wearer myself so I don’t typically find myself attracted to male scarf wearers. Then I quickly noticed his wine glass sitting in front of him, one-third empty. Wine? He’s drinking wine? I’ve seen guys drink wine before, but it was usually at an Italian family dinner or at a restaurant when also eating food—not at a pub, on a Friday night, with a girl. Already I was thinking “scarf and wine, scarf and wine…”
He was very friendly and asked lots of questions, but soon it felt like he was leading a conversation where he could be the older and wiser one who relished in the opportunity to lend his guidance. There was a particularly tense moment when we started talking about finding love. He was adamant that, “You’re so young! You have all the time to find someone!” Yes, but I do feel I should start my search now because it takes quite a while, and I don’t see anything wrong with starting that search when you’re in your early-mid twenties. The advice he started spewing at me about this and other topics annoyed me because he barely knew me. He also hung himself with that scarf when he encouraged me to stop looking for love and to let it happen naturally. I couldn’t hold my tongue; I stated the obvious when I said, “Well, you and I met through match…isn’t the purpose of match to find someone so aren’t you looking for it, too?” He took my slam in stride, nodded his head in acceptance and said, “That’s very true.”
After a couple drinks later (vodka tonics for me, again, and Dan was steady with his wine refills) we were on our way out, and I asked him where he parked. There is a parking garage and a couple other lots nearby, but these all require walking in different directions. He said he parked in one of the lots, and I told him I had parked in the garage. He asked me if I wanted him to walk me to my car. I said, “Oh, well since you are parked in the opposite direction, don’t worry about it.” He responded with, “it’s okay, I don’t mind walking you.” I half conceded by telling him that if he wanted to walk me then that was fine, but I felt bad because he wasn’t parked nearby. All of this was occurring with another couple standing close enough to us that they could hear the conversation. Dan gave me a middle school hug with resistance and said, “Well, it was nice meeting you I guess,” and with that he crossed the next intersection back to his car. I stood there in confusion that a grown man would really end the evening with such an awkward moment. The couple that was nearby let out a small laugh of disbelief and looked at me with faces that were saying, “Did this guy really just leave you like that? What a fool!”
I realized that yes, I probably had declined his offer to walk me because I wasn’t interested. He seemed to have trouble with all of my responses, and had something to say about all of them. A walk to a car means probably being alone in the garage and a good-bye that could include a kiss. If not a kiss, then it lends itself more easily to talking about future dates, and at that point, I knew I didn’t want anymore. Well, no more dates with him, but there are plenty of other guys out there to fill his spot!
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