The Ol' GagBall And Chain

And Jeremy would be this sweetheart here in the lower right corner.

Yesterday was Friday so of course last night Jeremy, his 800 friends, and I piled into cabs to drink, drink, drink! Before heading out to the bar, everyone congregated at Jeremy’s house. Everyone was wearing normal clothes because, ya know, it’s a normal night. But not in Jeremy’s mind. Halloween is a few days away, and I guess since girls use Halloween as an excuse to showcase their sluttyness, Jeremy used it to display his freakness. He emerged from his room dressed in jeans, a leather vest (only a vest, no shirt), some dog collar thing around his neck, chains and handcuffs hanging from his pants, and this neat little gadget that I learned is called a gagball. I’m sorry, a what? I’m still not sure I understand what it is, but that’s fine with me because I don’t even wanna know. The image of him wearing this stuff helped me lose any physical desire I may have had with him. He looked more like a Village People member than a…what, bondage guy?

True to myself, I had an attitude and wasn’t shy about making my feelings known for his outfit choice. There are some people that can pull off the look, and Jeremy just isn’t one of those people. NO ONE else at the bar is dressed for Halloween. NO ONE! Kudos to Jeremy for ignoring all of the guys who were pointing and laughing at him. And kudos to Jeremy for ignoring me for pointing and laughing at him. It took me the better part of an hour (or the amount of time it took for me to guzzle two drinks) to get used to Jeremy’s outfit. I even felt okay enough to dance with him! Wow, what did they put in that drink that I would dance with him, too? The night ended back at his house with the handcuffs stuck on his wrists. Yup. He was showing off how cool he looked and then the handcuffs wouldn’t unlock. I loved this moment. I loved this moment so much. After laughing again, I grabbed the key from him and got him out.

It feels like Jeremy and I, or at least I, are getting to a point where we’re either gonna go our separate ways or bunker down and make this last. I didn’t run away from him early on, and I did give it many chances, which is major progress from previous guys. And maybe that’s what I need to do, just give it time to really evolve. But I still find myself here: unhappy.

Running Mate

So I’m driving around my town and I see him. His face is plastered on a huge political poster sticking out of the median. It’s Jared! Jared is from last year; he was my “I’m at the coffee shop doing work, come hang out” date. I came home and Googled for him, but nothing came up, probably because I couldn’t remember how to spell his last name since I had whizzed by his poster. I never made it back into the area where I saw his poster, but I was driving in another location and saw his poster again. This time, I committed his last name to memory. After Googling, I found his political campaign site and watched a couple videos of him giving speeches. Huh. Funny. Maybe this whole political campaign thing is why he only had time for a quick morning coffee date.

Nick At Night

With Jeremy’s birthday having been last week, he received tickets to a Caps’ game and sooo…you guessed it—we got to go out! I do realize that he could’ve gone with any of his buddies so I’m definitely appreciative that he’d bring me instead. I’ve been to a few hockey games, and while I don’t particularly care for the sport, I do enjoy any live sporting event. The only snag in this fairy tale is that I had gotten sick, and the arctic temperatures of the ice rink were not helping. As the night went on, my coughing was almost louder than the screams of the fans. Jeremy kept making snotty comments that I wasn’t standing up and cheering. I did my best to use my scratchy voice to yell at him that I wasn’t feeling well and certainly didn’t feel like standing to cheer. I think he thought I was hating being there and that I was giving him an attitude, but it became quite clear to him and those around us that I was dying. He offered to leave the game early which was quite sweet, but I told him I’d be fine for the whole game.

The final buzzer sounded and we made our way for the exits. As the herds made their way down the stairs, Jeremy said he had to stop in the bathroom. Using my awesome crowd-clearing elbow skills, I made a path for us. As I was walking, I saw him…Nick! Of COURSE I would see the guy I reeeaaallly like while I’m out with a guy I maybe like. The Boston hunk was just a few feet away and only a small crowd separated us. Just seeing Nick through all those people made me feel better. I thought Jeremy was going into the bathroom so I gave a quick wave and cut off the stream of people coming towards me. Nick noticed me coming and scooped me up for one of the best hugs I’ve ever had. If only a kiss had followed…that really would’ve been good! And trouble. But anyway, he knew I had a thing for baseball and football, but was surprised that I’d be at a hockey game. “What, are you here on a match date?” Nick asked. Wow, he knows me well. We talked for a little bit and it was amazing. That feeling that I’ve been wanting to feel again comes with Nick. It doesn’t come with Jeremy. Nick said he’d sent me some messages, but never heard back. Umm, yeah, if he had messaged me, contact would have been reciprocated. I’m not sure if he’s lying or not, but I won’t dwell on it. Seeing him made me happy enough.

And then Jeremy was there. Oh yeah, Jeremy. I turned around to go find him near the bathroom, but was surprised to see him just a few feet away, staring, watching the exchange between Nick and I. Yikes! Slightly awkward. He didn’t ask who I was talking to, and I didn’t offer to tell him. 

UnHappy Birthday

Things are moving along with Jeremy, and he finally eased up on his “aggressiveness.” It took him a few weeks, but he realized that “no means no” and pushing someone to say “ok” doesn’t get anyone anywhere. His birthday was yesterday, and since we have only been seeing each other for a month, I had to do a little bit of research to find out what would be appropriate to do for/get him. I surveyed friends, my teaching teammates, and guy friends and cousins. Everyone was in agreement that taking him out to dinner was absolutely fine. It would be harmful to do too much, and it could be harmful to do too little so dinner was the medium. Also, as an added bonus to Jeremy because I'm so sweet and caring, knowing he’s a beer “enthusiast,” we can call it, I tracked down his favorite beer that is super hard to find.

I went to his house yesterday with his beer surprise cutely wrapped, and the intention to take him out to dinner. I walked in the door to find him all grunged out. The boy hadn’t  showered, and it was 4 pm. I don’t even think I mind the unshoweredness so much, but he just looked gross. It’s definitely possible to pull off looking good without showering, but he needs quite a few lessons in how to do it. Apparently, he was hungover from Friday night festivities that I couldn’t attend (yay!) I handed him the beer and said, “Well, I guess this is the last thing you want to see right now. Happy birthday!” I got a small “thank you” and braced myself for a kiss. His friends were more impressed with my thoughtfulness which made me feel better. He then decided that we should do his birthday dinner another night. Oh joy, so now I came over to sit here again?! I know I’m a bit tough on guys and have many complaints, and I guess if I can rip on him for so much then maybe I shouldn’t be with him. I’ve always failed with guys, and maybe that is my fault because I am so hard on them. Or maybe it’s because they all suck. Haaa, just kidding, not all of them. I do believe there are good ones out there, and that there is someone who is a good fit for me. I need more time with Jeremy to find out what our future really holds. For the time being, I can fake it ‘til I make it with him, right?

(Really) Lazy Sunday

I’m really enjoying the comfortableness that there is with Jeremy, and there’s a lot that I like about him. With time, though, some of his not-so-great qualities are starting to show. For the past week or so, he’s been house sitting for family friends just a few minutes from my own house. It’s made it a lot easier to spend time with him. I’m finding, though, that I’m getting REALLY bored when I’m with him. I like TV and I like relaxing, but he takes both to an extreme. I’ve asked to go out for walks, or random other places that somehow always get brushed to the side. 

Yesterday, I went to his house-sitting house after having talked with him about going to some wineries. He said there were some football games on that he wanted to see, but he said that wineries sounded like fun. Well, I went to the house and never saw a winery that day. When I asked again if we were going to the wineries, his response was that he has games to watch first. Ughhh, nothing bothers me more than unathletic guys being all into, well, athletics. Actually, I’m sure there’s a lot that bothers me more than that, but this does irritate me. He’s not athletic, doesn’t even work out, but he’s a diehard sports fan. Maybe if he got up from the couch to actually run a few laps or lift a few weights, his obsession with sports may be more fitting. Anyway, I told him that by the time all of his “must sees” are over, the wineries will be closed. So, logically, I told him I was bored and I left.

His laziness is becoming more and more apparent. Admittedly I’m not always an initiator of doing things, but when I have a special person to do things with then it’s a lot easier to plan and do things! I’m getting frustrated that he seems content with just sitting. And sitting. Oh, and drinking. And sitting. Maybe normal wasn’t the way to go?