The Ol' GagBall And Chain

And Jeremy would be this sweetheart here in the lower right corner.

Yesterday was Friday so of course last night Jeremy, his 800 friends, and I piled into cabs to drink, drink, drink! Before heading out to the bar, everyone congregated at Jeremy’s house. Everyone was wearing normal clothes because, ya know, it’s a normal night. But not in Jeremy’s mind. Halloween is a few days away, and I guess since girls use Halloween as an excuse to showcase their sluttyness, Jeremy used it to display his freakness. He emerged from his room dressed in jeans, a leather vest (only a vest, no shirt), some dog collar thing around his neck, chains and handcuffs hanging from his pants, and this neat little gadget that I learned is called a gagball. I’m sorry, a what? I’m still not sure I understand what it is, but that’s fine with me because I don’t even wanna know. The image of him wearing this stuff helped me lose any physical desire I may have had with him. He looked more like a Village People member than a…what, bondage guy?

True to myself, I had an attitude and wasn’t shy about making my feelings known for his outfit choice. There are some people that can pull off the look, and Jeremy just isn’t one of those people. NO ONE else at the bar is dressed for Halloween. NO ONE! Kudos to Jeremy for ignoring all of the guys who were pointing and laughing at him. And kudos to Jeremy for ignoring me for pointing and laughing at him. It took me the better part of an hour (or the amount of time it took for me to guzzle two drinks) to get used to Jeremy’s outfit. I even felt okay enough to dance with him! Wow, what did they put in that drink that I would dance with him, too? The night ended back at his house with the handcuffs stuck on his wrists. Yup. He was showing off how cool he looked and then the handcuffs wouldn’t unlock. I loved this moment. I loved this moment so much. After laughing again, I grabbed the key from him and got him out.

It feels like Jeremy and I, or at least I, are getting to a point where we’re either gonna go our separate ways or bunker down and make this last. I didn’t run away from him early on, and I did give it many chances, which is major progress from previous guys. And maybe that’s what I need to do, just give it time to really evolve. But I still find myself here: unhappy.