I got to J’s apartment, and pretty much right away I could tell he was nervous. He had actually been on match dates before, but I guess for some people the first date is always a tummy twirler. We went to dinner first and this was maybe my third official date of my whole life? I told myself we were just friends going out for a good time so I was my usual silly, cheerful, joking self, but he seemed to let his nerves get to him. He was talkative, but he wasn’t the same as his emails and phone conversations. I figured he needed time to warm up. We went to the game and had AMAZING seats. It was my first time at the stadium, and it was my first game I had been to for the season so I knew I would have fun regardless of his feelings. I was having a blast; cheering for the unknown players, singing and chanting along with the stadium music, and simply just enjoying the sport. J, on the other hand, looked like he was at an opera. Yeah, I get it, I’m sure many of you are making jokes that baseball is so boring it may as well be the opera, BUT he had expressed his interest in the sport, too, and if he had lied about it, well, then, that’s his own darn fault! Throughout the game, I nudged him or would put my hand on his leg to try and get him to liven up and just have a little fun. Maybe the 8th inning I saw a change in him, but at that point I pretty much knew I didn’t really want to see him again.
Over the next couple days, we talked a couple times, and he asked if I was interested in going to a movie. I wasn’t sure how to tell him that I was not interested, so I turned to the method that had brought us together—match email. I thanked him for everything, but said I didn’t feel anything to see him again. He took it all in stride. He was a nice guy, average looks, put out a great effort for the date, but I didn’t get that “ooo I want to see you again” feeling. Maybe if we were to go out a second time he would open up more? Possibly, but here’s the thing I’m learning with match: if one guy doesn’t work out, it’s not a huge loss because there’s always more that you can take a chance with. I’m not ready to self analyze and determine what it says about me that I’m so quick to move on to the next guy. If I were to go with my first thought, though, it would be that I won’t have to think if I want to see the guy again—it will be a definite. J is done, but I’m determined to go out with others to learn about guys, match, and dating.
Over the next couple days, we talked a couple times, and he asked if I was interested in going to a movie. I wasn’t sure how to tell him that I was not interested, so I turned to the method that had brought us together—match email. I thanked him for everything, but said I didn’t feel anything to see him again. He took it all in stride. He was a nice guy, average looks, put out a great effort for the date, but I didn’t get that “ooo I want to see you again” feeling. Maybe if we were to go out a second time he would open up more? Possibly, but here’s the thing I’m learning with match: if one guy doesn’t work out, it’s not a huge loss because there’s always more that you can take a chance with. I’m not ready to self analyze and determine what it says about me that I’m so quick to move on to the next guy. If I were to go with my first thought, though, it would be that I won’t have to think if I want to see the guy again—it will be a definite. J is done, but I’m determined to go out with others to learn about guys, match, and dating.
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