Two's Company

With summertime winding down, A and I took advantage of the weather and went out to the Georgetown Waterfront. I had been there a few times before, but I was a teenager. And I was also with my parents. The Waterfront is a bit different when you’re on a match date, drinking alcohol, and grasping at things to talk about. I was trying my darndest to get A to open up; I mean, if you’re gonna spend time with me, you’re gonna have to talk to me at some point. Okay, technically, he could really just look at me the whole time, but I can be annoying and talk until he breaks! So, that’s what I did. And we actually talked. Like had a real conversation, going back and forth. He declared he was content with his life how it was and didn’t have any plans to change it. Of course in my mind I heard that he doesn’t want to get married, having kids isn’t an inkling in his mind, and he basically just wants me for…company? What does he want me for anyway? Hmm. I guess A could read me pretty well. He made a comment that I needed a Sugar Daddy. Knowing that he’s…okay, whatever, he’s rich…knowing that, made it slightly awkward for me to have to agree with him. Well, I’m one who embraces awkwardness so I enthusiastically agreed: “Yes! That’s exactly what I need! But I gotta meet one first, I guess.” Oh ya, I did it, I pushed the button. I smiled. He smiled. We both knew what we were getting at. After a few hours we headed back to his car. I brazenly held his hand on the walk, partially because I felt like I was going to tip over in my platforms, but also because I was curious if I would like him at all. I didn’t. He didn’t like me either, I knew. I was decently drunk, it was a gorgeous night, and there were white lights lining the trees (one of my most favorite things in the world!) so who cares if this guy didn’t like me and only wanted to talk to me online and take me out? There’s worse things I guess. I had to realize, though, not to expect anything more from him. I’d be fine with hanging out, but now I have to keep looking.

The looking is getting a bit tedious. And I’m finding that within the first two weeks of subscribing, I pretty much was in contact with everyone I had an interest in—whether it was already meeting them, emailing, winking, exchanging numbers, WHATEVER, and so now my search efforts are kinda pointless. My efforts to be diplomatic and respond to everyone that emailed me have stopped completely. I don’t want to hide my profile just yet—meaning that I won’t be visible to anyone—because I may be drawing back on my search but someone else may be looking for me. Well, there are people looking for me, and one of them might be worth going out with.